


Please, Help Me

by ScaredOfHam



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Depressing, Everyone is Dead, God save me this is so fucked up why did I even write this, Graphic Description of Corpses, Graphic Suicide, Junes, Let's go partner, M/M, Slow Burn, Souji has a backstory, Suicide, This will probably be very long, Violence, i still don't know how to tag, so much crying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-02-22 04:19:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13159140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScaredOfHam/pseuds/ScaredOfHam
Summary: Made a mistake? Don't worry- just load it back to the checkpoint and try again! Aren't video games just sooooo simple? If only real life could be like that; here, we have to deal with the consequences of our failures... no matter how fatal those may be...~~~~~Or, where the Investigation Team fails to defeat Yukiko's Shadow and things go downhill from there.





	1. Play With Fire and You'll Get Burned

"Protect me, Tomoe!" Chie's cry echoed in the castle as ice exploded around the bird... Shadow/bird thing, whatever the fuck it was. Souji's annoyance that she hadn't waited for his order before acting left when Shadow Yukiko tumbled out of the cage, giving them a chance for an all-out attack.

However, within seconds, one flap of its wings knocked the three of them backwards. Souji was dimly aware of Yosuke's grunt and Chie's yelp as pain dug into his side; he'd landed on the wrong part of his golf club. 

Before they had even got to their feet, the Shadow cast a fire spell on Chie. She couldn't move out of the way in time and staggered from the attack to her weakness. 

"Shit..." Yosuke cursed, summoning Jirayia to use Garu, but it didn't do much damage; the creature snickered as it hovered in the air, its eyes watching all of them but lingering on Chie. 

_"My, my. I do hope this isn't all my princes have to offer."_

"I won't let you hurt Yukiko!" Chie fell for the taunt, using another ice spell; this time, the Shadow dodged it.

_"Pathetic! I need a REAL prince to save me!"_

A summoning spell brought in a new Shadow- a quick analysis from Teddie revealed its name to be Prince Charming. 

"Guys! Go for it first, it's weaker!" Souji ordered, using Izanagi to cast Zio on it- it fell from the attack to its vulnerable element, thank God. 

_"Hahaha! Yes, listen to him, Chie! We both know you can't do ANYTHING right on your own!"_

"Don't listen to it." Chie nodded at Yosuke's words, though her shoulders were visibly shaking.  _I can do this. Yukiko needs me. I CAN do this..._ The girl told herself, forcing a smile at Yosuke and Souji.

_"Yes, don't listen to me, Chie! It won't be the first time, ahahaha!"_

"Yosuke, Garu!" He obeyed, doing more damage to the already knocked down Shadow. "You're doing good, Chie, don't let it get to you! That's not really Yukiko!"

_"Haha, yes, I'm not really Yukiko! I'm ME! I CAN win as a girl and a person! I can get any hot stud I want! I can be a complete waste of space and it doesn't matter, everyone will still love me because I'm the Amagi Inn's sexy princess-"_

Chie lost it. "DON'T SAY THAT SHIT IN HER VOICE!" She rushed forward, lashing out with a kick- the bird slammed her down with a wing and flames immediately engulfed her.

"Agh, dammit, Chie-!" Yosuke cast Dia and the only girl on their team got to her feet, coughing as she retreated. Souji was so busy watching this he didn't notice Prince  Charming had got back up until the damn thing had knocked him down with a bash attack.

Chie saw this and clearly her infeorirty complex that gave her that need to protect someone was getting the best of her as she rushed to his side, kicking the Shadow off of him; it stepped back for a moment, then plunged its sword into her foot.

"FUCK!" Chie shrieked, jerking her leg away and landing hard on her back. There was no blood; Souji had noticed the Shadows never left real wounds, though it always did _feel_ like someone had just electrocuted him/stabbed him/etc. The gray-haired teen couldn't even bear to  _think_ about how much pain she must have been in...

And before he or Yosuke could move to her, Shadow Yukiko had flown above her and started pecking and clawing her, her talons slicing up the girl's beloved green hoddie. Both of the boys were immediately trying to help, Yosuke's kunai slicing into it while Souji beat the shit out of it with a golf club, but if anything, it only seemed like this was motivating it to hurt Chie more, the girls cries getting louder beneath the Shadow with each passing second.

"Goddammit!" Souji snarled in frustration as he dropped his weapon and used his shoulder to try to shove it off; Yosuke noticed and did the same, until Prince Charming came and started bashing at his face with a sword. Souji could see how this was going to end if he didn't do something soon and so he pushed himself as hard as he could, straining the fuck out of something in his arm as he used all of his strength to shove the bird off; finally, Shadow Yukiko settied on plucking Chie up in its talons and hurling her away, shooting a stream of fire after her.

"G-Guys! Chie's out! Yosuke's in trouble, Sensei _help_ _him_ -"

Souji listened to Teddie and cast Zio, giving Yosuke time to scramble away. Before Souji could even think of what he should  _consider_ their next move being, Chie was weakly getting to her feet. "I... c-can still help..."

Shadow Yukiko was back on her- "Will you give her a fucking break?!?" Yosuke screeched as he and Souji raced to try to intercept the slaughter about to unfurl.

Yosuke hadn't been expecting an answer, but they heard Yukiko's distorted voice anyway:  _"Give her a break? My prince would surely be focused on SAVING me, not sitting on her ass!"_

"I  _will_ save you, Yukiko!" Chie weakly cast another Bufu spell, but the Shadow easily ducked and burned her again- and now she was  _really_ out, sinking to the ground and not moving at all.

"Damn it!" Souji summoned a different persona, casting his own ice attack, which successfully knocked the Shadow to the ground for a moment. 

Souji was expecting a, "Let's go, partner!" When he heard, "GO, Partner!", he figured he'd just misheard, right up until Yosuke had shoved him out of the way, taking a fatal hit from Prince Charming for himself.

Souji's heart went cold. "T-Teddie! Help me!" He cast Zio onto his club before whacking Prince Charming again, finally knocking the damn thing out. 

"Sensei, use a revival bead!"

Of course- fuck, he was stupid. He'd used so many of them during training he only had two left, but that was enough; just as he fished them out of his pocket, though, talons scooped them up and, just like that, they were burning and all of Yukiko's hopes of living were two tiny piles of ashes on the floor of the castle.

 _"Oh, my, you seem SO worried! What EVER is the matter, my dear?"_ A new fire spell hit him- god  _damn it,_ this persona was weak to fire just like Chie and before he could recover, Shadow Yukiko had dug its talons into his shoulders and all Souji could do was watch as he was carried into the air. 

"Please, don't do this..." Souji begged.

_"And why shouldn't I? You asked for it! If you want to play with fire, be prepared to get burned!"_

"I don't... c-care about me! Yukiko- please, you can't kill her! You'll be killing yourself too, don't you Shadows realize that?!?"

 _"You heard it yourself, I am NOT Yukiko- I'm ME! And besides, deep down, Yukiko WANTS to die! That's the easiest way out, the easiest of them all! I'm doing her a favor!"_ They were pressed against the ceiling now, Souji's stomach falling when he glanced down and saw Chie, Yosuke, and Teddie as nothing more than green, black, and blue dots, respectively.

"Please... Please,  _don't..."_

 _"Oh, Souji. Do you know what it's like to be trapped in a cage all the time?"_ He didn't answer.  _"I get a lot of time to think... And watch. I notice a lot. I SEE a lot. Do you want to know what I see?"_ It didn't wait for an answer.  _"I see that anything you try to do to help me or anyone else who gets thrown in here isn't going to work. I see that you're going to ruin everything here the same way you always do. I'm sure you don't belive me, but it's true! Ahahaha, everyone's going to suffer like I have! Isn't that GREAT?!?"_

"Please, I'm s-sorry, give us one more chance, Yukiko, can you hear me, please-"

 _"This is pathetic. Begging for your life- YOU'RE NO PRINCE AT ALL!"_ And with that, she dropped him.

Souji tried to summon Izanagi to save him, but his energy was gone and nothing would come- he vaguely heard Teddie scream out, "I'll catch you, Sensei!" 

The bear scrambled beneath him, outsretching his paws to try to catch Souji-

They were both knocked out instantly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Chie told me I look good in red._

Soft brown eyes opened. Chie was startled at the rush of pain in her entire body and the unfamiliar ground she glimpsed beneath her. She moved her hands out to push herself up, further surprised when she felt them sink into clothes and- Why were Yosuke and Souji passed out next to her- 

Oh, God.

It all came rushing back to her as she lunged to her feet, ignoring the agony and not even realizing that she stepped on both boys as she dragged herself away, shrieking through burning vocal cords, "Yukiko? Yukiko, where are you?!?"

"Agh-" Yosuke and Souji both shoved themselves up, wincing, simultaneously remembering- the two got up to help search.

For a moment, the only sounds were the three's weak footsteps, and then Souji heard a scream full of indescribable agony he'd never forget for as long as he lived- "YUKIKO!"

He and Yosuke rushed to the source of Chie's scream, finding the girl scream-sobbing over Yukiko's corpse. Her eyes were closed, her pale lips gently parted open, her dark hair fanned out all around her. The delicate white of her neck was sliced open, a jagged cut from a bird's talon, an ocean of crimson soaking her hair and every inch of the floor around her, the reek of blood sickening.

Dimly, Souji was sure he could hear in the dead girl's soft voice, 

_Chie told me I look good in red._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is how I write when I type without handwriting it first. Does it suck more than when I prepare more? That's a genuine question, I need to know if I should continue writing my old way or like this so feel free to roast me.
> 
> Hehe, roast. *shot*
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Happy holidays!


	2. Is There Anything Left When the Ice Melts?

"No! Please, no, Yukiko! NO!"

Teddie regained consciousness at the repeating sound of Chie's screams. It all came back... They'd... failed...

"Please! PLEASE! This can't be happening, no, PLEASE GOD DON'T LET THIS BE REAL!!!"

Souji's stomach was twisting in guilt and misery as he watched Chie hold her, tears and snot dripping down onto the mess of gore that had once been Yukiko Amagi. Yosuke was crying quietly, a forearm slung over his eyes; Souji could hear the tinny whine of his heaphones, still blaring music. 

"Please, no! This is all  _my_ fault, Yukiko didn't do  _anything wrong!_ IT'S MY FAULT, NOT HER'S, IT'S NOT-"

Tears blurred Souji's vision as he gently laid a hand on her shoulder. "Chie. This is  _not_ your fault."

Her shaking shoulders went stiff; slolwy, she turned to face him, her eyes completely different from those of the girl that was so full of life and joy. Her face was a reddened mess of tears, sweat, and some of Yukiko's blood- her voice came out surprisingly steady as she spat, "You're right. I did everything I could to help her. It's YOUR goddamn fault! YOU'RE the one that kept making excuses not to come in here- LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID, YOU GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH!"

"Ch-Chie!" Yosuke moved his arm back down, his bloodshot eyes focusing on her. "You know that's not true... We've been in here almost every single day since it happened." He spoke quietly, more tears silently rolling down with each word.

Chie's shoulders sagged. "I... I know. I'm sorry, guys... I'm sorry, Yukiko-" She broke into another sob and collapsed on top of Yukiko, crying hysterically and holding onto her like it if she did so tight enough it'd somehow bring her back. She couldn't live without Yukiko. She couldn't live with herself without Yukiko. Couldn't live knowing she could have saved her. Could have saved her...

"Chie-chan... Don't cry..." Yosuke and Souji both started at Teddie's voice, but Chie didn't seem to notice he'd spoke at all. "The fog's gone. You guys gotta get outta here!"

"N-No!" Chie wailed, still not looking over. "I can't... There's gotta be a way... to save her..." She spoke in between wails, more of Yukiko's blood dripping onto the floor from how bad Chie, and in turn Yukiko, was shaking. 

Yosuke audibly sobbed at her words; it was heartbreaking to see anyone like this, let alone someone he cared about. By some scientific miracle, Teddie was crying as well. "The Shadows are coming. You can't stay in this world-"

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!" Chie shrieked, her voice hysterical. "I DON'T DESERVE TO GET OUT OF HERE ALIVE IF SHE CAN'T! NONE OF US DO!"

As she spoke, shadows began to slink into the room; Chie and Yosuke's minds were gone from their grief by now, but Souji's leadership instincts were still there. "Teddie, can you let us out of here from where we are right now?"

Teddie nodded, padding the ground with his foot; the familiar stack of TV's appeared. 

 Chie heard the sound of them being summoned and finally whirled around, clinging to the dead girl even tighter. "What if we bring her back to our world with us? Maybe there's a way to save her there?"

"You can't bring a corpse out of here! That would be beary, beary bad-"

"How can you make fucking bear puns now?!?" Chie bawled, her sobs getting even louder. 

"We could at least give her a proper burial..." Yosuke muttered. 

Shadows were circling them by now; Souji grabbed onto Yosuke and shoved him out before the other boy could react, then, somehow, he and Teddie managed to pry Chie away from Yukiko right before a Shadow dove at where she had been moments ago.

"Hurry, Sensei!" Souji managed to push a flailing Chie through the exit before a Shadow lunged at him; he side-stepped, tripped, and, by some miracle, stumbled into the TV's. 

He cursed as he landed roughly on the hard floor of Junes, looking up to see Yosuke attempting to get Chie to stop crying so loudly. Her wailing was heartbreakingly shattered and defeated and _hysterical_ , and suddenly she was pushing Yosuke aside and crawling as far away from them as she could before she threw up on the floor.

Yosuke didn't look, just hastily got up to get a mop while Souji crossed over to her, crouching down and pulling her into his arms. "Chie... I know... But you have to calm down..."

"G-get away from me, Souji! I'm disgusting!" Her voice was thick from tears, her words slurred from misery. "It's m-my fault! All my f-fault sheez dead!"

Souji cleaned up her face with his sleeve, whispering, "No, no, you're not, and, Ch-Chie... You were right! We  _don't_ know everything about how the TV world works, and neither does Teddie so just because he says it can't happen... d-doesn't mean it can't happen! We can find a way to save her still. We  _will._ I promise."

Chie's sobs gave way to quiet, broken crying."L-Liar..."

"We'll do it. I swear on my life."

Chie went still, and Souji was suddenly sure he was about to get kicked in the balls- instead, the brunette slowly nodded. "Th-Thank you..."

"It's nothing. We're going to save Yukiko. Promise." He wasn't stupid; he knew she was gone, he just also happened to know that Chie was going to have a mental breakdown if someone didn't calm her down. 

Yosuke came back, carrying a mop and a drink. "For you, Chie. These... help me feel better when I'm sick."

"Thank you... You guys are the best..." Chie spoke shakily before she took a sip of her drink, watching through tear-glazed eyes as Yosuke mopped up the floor. "I'm s-sorry..."

"Don't worry about it." 

"Do you feel any better now, Chie?" Souji asked softly.

"Y-Yeah. Thank you guys, so much..." She finally pulled away from Souji's hold, focusing on Yosuke. "Did you hear? We're going to find a way to save Yukiko!"

"Of course we are." Yosuke smiled at her, and a bit of life returned to Chie's eyes as she focused on her drink; when she wasn't looking, Souji and Yosuke shared a glance that told the other they both knew that wasn't going to happen. 

"We'll meet up first thing tomorrow to come up with a plan." Souji decided. 

Chie smiled, repeated, "Thank you guys." She got to her feet, sighing at all the rips in her hoodie. "Well, I'm sore and tired, so I'm gonna go home and get some rest so I can kick ass tomorrow!" She laughed half-heartedly. "I'll see you then, okay?" She left, her gait awkward from her injuries. 

Yosuke sighed, dropping the mop and sinking to the floor. "I... can't belive it."

"I know." Souji replied hollowly.

"I feel so... numb. But at the same time, everything hurts."

"Me, too."

They stayed like that for a long time, on the ground away from each other in a silence of shared suffering, when finally Yosuke murmured, "I've got to get some sleep. I... It doesn't really matter how we feel. We have to make sure Chie gets through this and I'm going to need to be able to think clearly when she realizes that... we lied."

"You're right."

"Yeah... See you tomorrow, Souji." 

Souji nodded, letting Yosuke leave before he headed home as well, trying not to wonder why he'd said his real name instead of "partner." No, he knew the answer- he'd disappointed him. He'd disappointed Chie, too, but most importantly she had been right earlier. It  _was_ his fault Yukiko was dead. He'd failed. He'd killed her the same way he would have if he'd shot her. She was dead because of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somehow, Chie cleaned up her face, rolled her hoddie in a ball and stuffed it under her arm, and walked into her home and made small talk with her parents like everything was okay. Deep down, she knew Yukiko was... dead... but if she admitted that, then... Then...

As troubled as her mind was, her body was so worn out she went to sleep the moment her head hit her pillow. She slept in late enough to have been tardy if they'd had school today, but not late enough for it to be time to meet at Junes. 

She could hear her family downstairs, but she couldn't bring herself to chat with them again. No, her brain was going haywire with despair- she  _had_ to get her mind off of everything. 

Sighing, she turned on her cracked, tiny TV. It immediately broadcast the news- she normally didn't watch that, but she had kept the channel on at all times as of late to see the weather forecast at the bottom of the screen. 

Now, her blood turned into ice as she saw the silhouette of a girl dangling from a power cord-

_"-ko Amagi, found dead at the scene and believed to be the most recent victim in a bizarre serial murder case unfurling in the small town of Inaba..."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Souji hadn't checked the news this morning; he'd woke up about an hour after Chie had, and yet again, it was too early to call the others for a meeting- they were surely still asleep. That was fine; Souji had business to attend to, anyway. 

The Velvet Room was the same as always, Igor peering at him over his permanently-folded hands. "It seems your journey has taken a rather unexpected turn."

Suddenly, Souji wanted to cry. "Y-Yes..."

"Do not be alarmed. Hope is never lost to he who continues to pursue the truth."

Souji nodded slowly. "We... can still prevent anyone else from dying... We can save the next victims. We can train and... Stop the killer and it'll be okay. I'll spend everyday from now on training-"

"Please, do not be foolish." Margaret spoke up softly. "I am sure you have noticed by now that your Personas are not as strong as your friends Personas, yes? The strength you will need the most comes from your bonds with others. You have no hope if you think you can accomplish this on your own."

"Oh... Yes, you're correct." Souji took a deep breath. "But... why _aren't_ my Personas strong...?"

"That will become clear in due time, my dear guest. I would advise you to watch your remaining friend carefully and nurture  _that_ bond in particular as an indescribable amount of power lies in it, but make new bonds as well."

Her words sparked a new determination in him. "You're right. I can do this... Thank you both." He bowed before leaving, and only after he had stepped out into the Shopping District did he realize she'd used the singular form of the noun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Souji had caved and called the meeting early, but he still hadn't got a response from either of them. Just when he was about to go check on them, Yosuke showed up, plopping down in a chair next to him. "Hey, Partner." His voice was strained, but not as hopeless as Souji had feared it might be.

"Good morning, Yosuke. Are you feeling alright?"

He laughed hollowly. "Yeahhhh... Not the best question to ask in these circumstances, Partner." He was pretty sure Chie would have gone off if she'd been here before him, but that wasn't in Yosuke's nature.

The boy's eyes grazed over the table, widening at all of the food. "Wha-... Did you buy us this?"

"Of course." Souji smiled gingerly.

Yosuke finally managed to smile for the first time since yesterday when he saw what he'd bought Chie. "Damn- an entire steak- and the expesnive kind! She's gonna be so happy- oh yeah, when is she coming?"

Souji fidgeted. "I don't know... She never texted back."

"Oh." Yosuke bit his lip. "I'm sure she's on her way."

He picked at his food, trying to ignore Souji's eyes- the once steady, reassuring pools of silver were reflecting more worry with each passing minute. They were both nervous, nervous enough for it to be palpable, and it was like their anxiety was feeding,  _growing_ off each other...

Finally, Yosuke stood up. "I'm going to swing by her house."

Souji glanced at him. "You know where she lives?"

"Yeah, she's invited me over to watch kung-fu movies a couple of times. You stay here in case she's on her way, okay, Partner?"

Souji couldn't even be happy Yosuke had called him "Partner" so many times today, just nodding in response; Yosuke made sure to look calm while he was in Souji's field of vision, only running when he had left Junes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chie's mother answered the door, surprised to find Yosuke with his face all flushed and sweaty from running. "H-Hanamura-kun! Are you here to see Chie?"

"Yes, ma'am. If that's alright."

She waved a hand dismissively. "Oh, no worries! Hell, maybe she'll actually open the door for you! She's in one of her work-out moods, the banging earlier was sooooo loud it gave me a headache!" She laughed good-naturedly as she held the door open for him.

Yosuke's blood went frigid at her words, making a bit more small talk before going to Chie's room.  _Please, oh PLEASE let her be okay..._

"Chie...?" He knocked lightly on her sticker-covered door, getting no answer. He increased the volume of his knocking, then pressed his ear to the door. Silence.

He tried the doorknob- locked. "Chie? Open up!" He knocked harder, his anxiety increasing. "Chie!"

Panic overcame Yosuke. He twisted the knob as hard as he could and slammed his shoulder into the door. "CHIE!" She'd put something in front of the door as well; Yosuke's heart threatened to explode as he pounded the door again and again, finally breaking the goddamn thing down and toppling over the dresser in front of it.

A week ago, if Chie had heard the girly scream he'd made, she would have laughed, teased him with that carefree smile. Her parents might have done the same if they hadn't been so worried about the banging and screaming and ran up and saw what Yosuke had.

Her eyes were half-opened and hauntingly clouded over, her ghostly pale skin stained with tears. Her head dangled limply over the noose, the rest of her body dead weight beneath it.

Now it was Yosuke's turn to cry and throw up on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do love Chie and Yukiko. This hurts to write, honestly, but I just absolutely love writing angst for some reason.


	3. You Can't Give Up Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the plural form of Persona Personas or Personae? Idk fml

Souji's hand trembled as he went to voicemail yet again, finally deciding to leave a message: "Yosuke,  _please_ answer me! I'm... I'm really freaking out right now, I can't get you or Chie to answer-"

He picked up mid-sentence. "S-Souji..." His voice was thin, his breathing shallow.

"Yosuke! What's going on? Did something happen? Where's Chie?"

"She... She's..."

"She's what?"

He mumbled something that sounded like, "Keelerelf."

"What?"

Even quiter, "Sekeeledrerelf."

"Yosuke, I can't-"

"SHE KILLED HERSELF! OH MY GOD, SOUJI, WE FUCKED UP,  _WE FUCKED UP!"_

Souji's heart skipped a beat, his hand now trembling so hard he almost dropped the phone. "Oh... God, please no..."

Yosuke sobbed. "C-Can't... stay, cops have to talk to me..."

"Can you come here again once you're done?"

"Y-Yeah..." Yosuke hung up; Souji set his phone down and wept. "Fucked up" didn't begin to describe it- Yukiko and Chie, two amazing people with their entire lives ahead of them, were dead because of his mistakes. And Yosuke- oh God, what if he'd said he had to go so he could follow in her footsteps?!?

He quickly texted,  _You're not going to do the same thing, right? Please, please don't. I know you feel awful, but people need you. I need you._

_I'll do anything, just please don't Yosuke._

_I know you're busy but when you see this, please PLEASE don't do that. If you're thinking about it, please talk to me before you try anything._

_Please._

He went on sending messages like this until Yosuke finally replied,  _relax, dude. omw_

Souji's mind was swimming. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down, glanced at the table, saw the untouched steak, and started crying all over again. He meant to clean himself up before Yosuke's arrival, but he showed up sooner than expected and was greeted with Souji sobbing into a Junes Meat Lovers' Special.

Yosuke sat next to him; immediately Souji jumped up, swiping up a pile of Junes napkins and vigorously grinding them over his face. "Oh! D-Dammit, I'm sorry Yosuke-"

Yosuke just placed a hand on his shoulder, struggling to find his voice or words, not speaking until he finally forced out, "You don't have to be sorry about crying, dude. After all this... I'd be more freaked out if you weren't."

Souji nodded, but nevertheless continued to wipe his face while he forced himself to stop crying. "Please, Yosuke... Tell me you aren't..." He dropped the napkins on the table, meeting his eyes. "Thinking about doing that, too..."

Focus returned to Yosuke's eyes, which were suddenly hard as steel as he met Souji's head-on. "Hell no. I'm going to find whoever did this and make him fucking pay." His voice was sharper than his kunai, and maybe the terrifying look on his face should have made Souji nervous, but all he felt was relief. 

 "So... that means you're holding up." Souji said it mostly to assure himself.

Yosuke actually _laughed_ , the sound giving Souji the exact same feeling he'd get if someone dragged ice down his spine. "I just... saw..." His expression collapsed. "Oh, God..." He broke off on a sob, and Souji instinctively pulled him into his arms.

Yosuke would have normally objected to being held by a guy he barely even knew, but now he just buried his face in his chest and let the tears come. "S-She always h-had this  _energy_ in her eyes and then they were... They w-were..."

"I'm sorry... Yosuke, I'm so sorry..."

"And the reason why..." He was speaking in between sobs, shaking violently in Souji's arms. "It didn't take them long to question me... Her TV was on and I saw... I lied and s-said I came in because I saw the news and got worried...Yukiko's body, just like S-Saki's..." He was scream-sobbing by now. "Everyone's fucking dying, what the hell are we going to do oh my god oh my _god_..."

Souji continued to hold him, his own tears slowly trickling onto Yosuke's back. "I... I never... bought her another copy of Trial of the D-Dragon..." He hiccuped. "Dammit, I'm gonna get sick again-"

"Here." Souji gently helped Yosuke lean up and kicked a trash can closer to him; he'd moved one by the table earlier for when they broke the news that they'd lied to Chie. God, he wanted to go back in time...

Yosuke just swiped his drink off the table and took a long gulp, closing his eyes and trying to control his breathing. "I c-can't let myself get like this, right? We've gotta... focus on investigating-"

Souji shook his head. "No. You've been through a lot. If you don't let yourself feel it now, you'll go crazy."

"If I think about it, I'll go crazy. And you've b-been through a lot, too..."

Souji didn't dare point out that he hadn't walked in on his friend's suicide... Or had the girl he loved die...  _And_ find out she'd hated him the entire time... The only thing they were equal on was the pain of Yukiko's death, but even then, that had to be much worse on Yosuke since he'd actually  _known_ her. "I'll pull through. I'm much more worried about you."

"I just..." Yosuke rubbed at his eyes. "She m-must have been so scared-" He broke off on another sob, letting Souji hold him again. "She was always so.. excited and happy... the... the look in her eyes... and Yukiko..."

Souji expected him to go on like this for awhile, but mid-word, Yosuke abruptly jumped away. "No, no, I can't do this..  I was right. If I keep thinking about it, I'm going to go crazy. Can we train today?"

"Uh..." Souji scratched the back of his neck. "I used all of our healing items last time and I definitely don't want us going in there unprepared... And we need to get better weapons and armor first. But... I blew all my money, so..."

"Oh." Yosuke nodded. "I- I was saving for a motorcycle, but this is way more important-"

"No, no. I can work."

A tiny, wannabe smile pulled at his lips. "Then... wanna work at Junes today?" He'd suggest anything that would help further the investigation and keep his mind off everything...

Souji was also in love with the idea- a chance to get money and an excuse to watch over Yosuke in case he was... well. "Sounds great."

Working at Junes was about the same as working in any store like it. Souji tried to keep a close watch on Yosuke; sometimes he'd catch him working and be positive his eyes resembled those of a corpse with how fucking  _empty_ they were, but each time Souji pulled him aside to ask, Yosuke insisted he was fine.

The eighteenth time he asked, Yosuke's eye started to twitch. "Souji. Partner. I appreciate that you care and I  _don't_ wanna be an asshole, but I'm doing my best not to think about it and you keep bringing it up and I'm about to turn into a total dick."

"Sorry-"

"It's fine, forget it, you're just worried and I'm a dick and there's a realllyyyyyyy long line at that check-out-" he pointed, "-so would you mind opening another register whIle I stock this shit? I can do it fine on my own."

Souji knew he was trying his best to politely tell him to fuck off, so he took his advice and within a few minutes there was a massive customer rush.

He didn't see Yosuke for a few hours; by the time his break came, he was on the verge of a panic attack. He searched the store the second he was free, finding Yosuke cleaning tables at the food court with admirable proficiency.

"Aren't you on break yet?"

Yosuke started at his voice. "Oh, no. I don't take breaks often." He continued to clean as he spoke. 

"Aren't you still like... sore and-"

"Nah, I'm used to working while I'm straight-up sick, so this is nothing." Yosuke sighed, trying not to get depressed at his own statement. "Uh, if you wanna help because I know you're about to offer that, could you just... tell me a story or something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Uh... I don't know... Did you have a girlfriend before you moved here?" Yosuke fumbled for a subject.

"Ohhhh, that kind of stuff. Uh..." Souji racked his brain for something interesting, following Yosuke as he switched tables. "A few, but I never really cared too much for them."

Yosuke gasped, then laughed, the sound still not all that happy. "Dude, that's soooo cold! Why?"

"I... don't know. They just weren't very... interesting, I guess." Souji shrugged.

"Is that code for them not being hot enough for you?" Souji could almost swear there was an edge of...  _something_ in his voice. Bitterness? Envy? He wasn't sure.

"No, that wasn't it. I mean, they were nice to talk to and look at and stuff, they just... never became more than friends to me."

"Wooooow." Yosuke whistled. "Just how many hearts did you break? I feel bad for those poor girls."

"I... I wouldn't say any of them were  _that_ upset-"

"Really?"

A memory flashed through his mind; her name was Yuki and his parents had wanted them to be together. Their conversations were stiff and awkward; when he'd suggested they break up since he was moving, she'd seemed so relieved. "Honestly."

"Not a single one?"

"Well..." Her name was Nagisa, she was rich, another girl his parents wanted him to be with, and when he'd broke up with her, she'd smacked him and shrieked, "I  _knew_ you were like that!" Like  _what,_ he'd never asked. "No, I don't think any of them cared that much."

Yosuke shook his head in awe. "What kind of messed-up city did you used to live in?"

Souji shrugged. "I think it was less them and more me."

"No. You're the kind of guy that's gonna have half the girls in this town after you; I'd bet on it."

Souji smiled half-heartedly. "Let's bet on it."

Yosuke playfully smacked his shoulder with the rag. "We don't have money, dumbass."

"Hey! Don't get that Junes dirt on my clothes!" They laughed, both pretending not to notice the defeat in each other's eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Souji would genuinely be willing to bet the money he'd made working at Junes today that Yosuke was going to spend this evening crying in his room. Though, of course, if he didn't answer his phone for more than five minutes, he was going to call the cops and run like the fucking wind to his house... Yeah.

Well, that didn't matter. He had cranes to fold for cash- the job offer had originally said volunteer, but since everyone was a greedy asshole, it made ten yen per lovely work of art someone folded.

But to his surprise, Dojima was waiting for him when he got home. "Souji... take a seat."

Oh, great, just what he fucking needed right now. Souji obeyed, plopping down in the chair in front of him.

"You've been buddying with Yukiko Amagi and Chie Satanoka, haven't you?"

Souji nodded miserably. "I'm sorry, sir, but I don't have any information on... why she d-did that-"

To his shock, Dojima slammed his fist against the table. "Why does everyone think I'm such an asshole? I was going to ask if you were okay."

"Oh... I'm... sorry..."

His uncle's brow creased. "You look like you're about to have a nervous breakdown... You know, you don't have to go to school tomorrow.''

Souji concealed his surprise at Dojima's offer. "I appreciate that, but... I think it'd be better if I tried to keep my mind off of it with school work."

Dojima nodded slowly. "That's... smart. But if you ever need anything... I'm here, okay?"

"Okay." Souji smiled slightly. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." He took a sip of his coffee, then asked, "Is there anything you want to talk about right now?"

Souji honestly couldn't be sure of he was trying to help or interrogate him. "Not right now, but... I might take you up on that later."

He nodded. "I'm here if you need me."

"Thank you." Souji repeated, excusing himself to go upstairs and work. He only took breaks from folding to text Yosuke, whose answers were half-assed but that didn't bother Souji; he was just glad Yosuke was responding.

The folding helped to clear his mind. Margaret's words kept coming back to him... He'd thought about it as he paced the Junes food court, and came to the conclusion that she must have said "friend" because Chie hated him after Yukiko's death, not because she was fucking dead herself. But he couldn't afford to be pissed at the Velvet Room assistant,  or feel any emotions, really. He had to focus on getting stronger. And making bonds... 

How did they expect him to just _find_ the right people? There were only like, 20 Tarot cards with Personas based on them, right? Inaba was a small town, but there were way more than 20 assholes around here. The best he could do was just... talk to people and hope he got lucky. A good way to meet people was clubs, wasn't it? Maybe he should join those...

Yosuke texted him:  _btw how long will it take u 2 save up enough money b4 we can finally go back?_

_I'm not sure._

_I can help u know._

_That won't be necessary._

_2 bad I'm doing it anyway_

Souji couldn't help but smile.  _Thank you._

_Np partner._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I brought lunch."

Yosuke jumped, turning his attention away from his phone to the gray-haired teen leaning over his desk. "For me...?"

"Of course."

He half-smiled. "Thanks, Partner."

"Do you want to go with me to the rooftop?"

"Sure." He followed Souji up the stairs, and after both of them had taken a seat, Yosuke started talking about what he'd wanted to discuss all throughout class: "I'm really ready to start training soon... Is there anything else we're going to need besides money?"

"Hmmmm.... oh, yeah." Souji sighed as he remembered what he'd been planning on doing today; he doubted Yosuke would approve of him...  _making excuses not to come in here- LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID YOU GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH!_ Souji swallowed, forcing himself not to think about that. "Do you remember the Velvet Room?"

"That place you get your Personas from, right?"

"Yeah... Well, apparently the reason they're all so weak is because I don't have enough friends."

Yosuke groaned. "What- you've got me! And... you had Chie..." His voice got quieter. "Were we not good enough?"

"No, no! It's not that. I'm... not close enough to you or something?"

"Wow. Wowwwww." Yosuke cleared his throat, and then he was standing up and screaming, "Hey! God! Dude with the big nose in that place that sounds like it'd be in a red-light district! Do you see this man right here? He! Is! My! Best! Friend!" His voice returned to its normal volume. "Stronger yet?"

"Uh, no-"

"HEY! EVERYONE! I WOULD DIE FOR THIS MAN, YOU HEAR ME? SOUJI SETA! I WOULD DIE FOR YOU, PARTNER! I love you like Junes loves the misery of its employees! I would marry you! And bear all your children! FEEL THE STRENGTH OF MY LOVE!"He would never say that in public normally, but they were alone on a rooftop where no one could hear them and Yosuke  _really_ wanted to get back to the TV world.

Souji didn't think it was possible, but he was laughing. "While I appreciate that, I don't think that's how it works."

"Well... I... I meant the first part, okay? You are my best friend, shouldn't that count for something? And I... I don't mind dying for you if it'll stop this bullshit-"

Souji shook his head. "Please don't say stuff like that! Anyway, I don't think it's about sacrifices... Like..." He struggled to explain what he barely understood himself. "It's that deep, personal connection-"

"Oh! Personal! Okay, let me tell you a secret... hm, what  _are_ my secrets my Shadow didn't already tell you- oh yeah! This one time, my mom found my sexy nurse porn and read the titles out to the whole family. And I've seen some weird shit too man, this one time they had this lamp-"

"I don't think that's what this is about, either."

Yosuke groaned, irritably kicking at the ground. "Fiiiiine. I'm guessing this'll lead to a Phoenix Ranger Featherman lecture about how the power of fucking friendship takes time or something if I don't shut up, won't it?

"That seems likely."

"I don't get why your Personas aren't as strong if you don't hang out with people, anyway."

 "You think I'm making excuses not to go in there, don't you?" Souji asked, his voice resigned.

Yosuke's eyes widened. "No, never! I... I trust you." And the look in his eyes was one of such honesty and faith it made Souji want to cry; Chie had once looked at him like that, and so had his parents and... "And seriously, why do you need multiple friends? If we got really really really REALLY close, why would you need more than that?"

Souji appreciated the subject change. "Well, it's like... They're all different... arcana, basically. My Magician Personas have become stronger since I started hanging out with you."  _And I guess every Chariot will either try to kill me or I'll end up crying everytime I summon it over my own stupid feelings..._

"If I'm a Magician, then why the fuck can't I like, fly or something?" Yosuke wasn't sure how or why, but he could just... sense when Souji's mind was wandering.

"Well... I mean, Jiraiya uses wind and has a cape..."

 _"Well,_ Izanagi looks like a fucking Transformer, so why the hell aren't you a car?"

Souji was having what would have been called a Yukiko laughing fit if he had ever gotten to know she had those. "He... He doesn't look like one, though."

"That was the joke," Yosuke explained, laughing with him, and, for just a moment, everything wasn't so bad. Just a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I do not think Yosuke would move on after that happened to him this fast... It's just, to me at least, it seemed like he kind of focused on other things rather than the pain of losing Saki so he could still like, function, so he'd probably do the same thing in this situation to keep from losing it. Sorry I'm trying my best to keep Yosuke in character I hope I'm doing okay ^^;


	4. We're All Trapped in a Maze of Relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year btw ^^

They ate the meal Souji had made, making light banter until Souji finally said, "I'm thinking about joining clubs to find those 'bonds.' "

"We only have like, four clubs here."

"I know... We have a soccer team, right? I used to play that."

"We do, but our team sucks. And most of the guys are assholes- oh, but there's Daisuke Nagase. He's really cool. I'm sure he can... help you summon some freaky-assed emo Pokémon."

Souji was laughing again; he really didn't laugh, had never been the type of person to find things like this funny, but something about the way Yosuke delivered his jokes killed him. "Thank you."

"No man, thank  _you_ for the food- it's sooo good! Did you make it?"

"Yes." He'd done it this morning, after he'd stayed up folding cranes... He was really fucking tired.

Yosuke whistled before taking another bite. "Is there anything you can't do?" Oh, shit he shouldn't have asked that-  _quick, say something before he starts crying you idiot-_ "What's your favorite color?"

"What...? Uh, I don't really have one."

"Seriously, dude? That's like, the most basic opinion!"

"I guess if I had to pick just one, it'd be orange." Souji was used to just answering every question imaginable in a way that'd please the inquirer; he wasn't sure why he'd even avoided it at first when Yosuke asked.

"Really?" Yosuke's eyes lit up. "Me, too! It's so underrated-"

The bell rang; Yosuke helped Souji clean up before they went back to class. Souji was surprised they hadn't had another assembly; maybe they just didn't feel like taking the time to hold one after Saki's... The thought pissed him off. Yosuke must have been thinking along those lines as well, because he grumbled, "Guess they  _are_ still going to have practice today."

"Do you want to go with me?" He wasn't sure why, but he suddenly realized he   _really_ needed Yosuke to be there with him. 

"Can't. I've gotta work today- I don't have time to do clubs and shit. Pluuuuuus, half this school hates me." Yosuke sighed, getting to his feet. "They should be out on the field- call me later and tell me how it goes." With that being said, he grabbed his stuff and left; Souji nervously drew in a deep breath before doing the same.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"This right here is Souji Seta! He's from the city, ain't that great? I bet he'll be team captain in no time!" Souji honestly wanted to punch that coach in his face, but hey, at least no one was paying attention.

"Did you see her body?"

"It's a damn shame, y'know."

"No one will ever pass the Amagi challenge after all."

"Can't believe that Satonoka girl offed herself-"

"Will you guys shut the hell up?!?" Everyone jumped when someone spoke up;glancing to the source of the voice, Souji saw a brown-haired boy with a pronounced widow's peak, brown eyes, and a brown band-aid pressed over the bridge of his nose. 

"Hey! Watch the language, Nagase!" The coach scolded.

"You're seriously gonna yell at  _me_ when they're makin' fun of dead people?!?"

"Yeah, you're right- you should  _all_ stop talking. What's our city boy going to think?" Souji honestly couldn't even get bothered by the way his new team members glared at him; he couldn't exactly blame them. "Now, as punishment you all can run some laps! Seta-kun, you don't have to worry about participating! You can just relax for today-"

Souji had walked off before he'd finished speaking, taking a seat off to the side and watching as the other boy's ran. He wasn't sure why he got the urge to text Yosuke,  _I fucking hate this school._ , and yet he hit SEND before he could even think about what he was doing or why the hell he'd dump his feelings on Yosuke.

He figured the other boy would be drowning in Junes work and be way too busy to answer, but almost immediately he'd replied,  _same x100_

Souji smiled without realizing it; god, he wished he'd went with him instead of going  _here._ Stupid fucking idea... He spent a while contemplating a good response, abruptly hearing a, "...Hey, man."

Souji jumped, glancing up to see Nagase standing there. Behind him, all the other players had left- wait, just how  _long_ had he been sitting here stressing over a response to send to Yosuke? That was kind of...

He realized Daisuke was waiting for a response and managed a quiet, "Hey." 

"I just wanted to say..." He kicked at the ground, sighing. "Don't let those guys get to you. Some people just don't know when to shut their damn mouths, y'know?"

"Yeah... it was really nice of you to stand up to them like that."

Daisuke scratched the back of his neck self-consciously. "Wasn't really standing up to them... I just-"

"Hey, Daisuke." They both glanced over to see a boy with bluish-purple hair crossing over to them. He was smiling, but his eyes were stricken with far-too familiar grief.

Daisuke's tone changed, all worried and soft while his brow creased in concern. "Hey. You okay?"

The boy forced a laugh. "Absolutely. No one will stop talking about poor Amagi-san and-" He suddenly looked like he was about to cry. 

"Kou-" Daisuke started. 

"Oh, are you new here?" He smiled nervously at Souji, looking like he'd only just noticed his presence. "Sorry, it must be pretty weird listening to this, huh? I'm Kou Ichijo. And this asshole is Daisuke Nagase!"

Daisuke stiffened. "Asshole?"

"I believe that is the appropriate term for someone that always makes me pay for his Rainy Day Challenge at Aiya."

"Well, that's just 'cuz you're the one with the money and don't use all those big words!"

Kou chuckled. "As you can tell, I'm the smart one in this friendship-"

"Not really." Daisuke huffed.

"-so if you ever need help studying, feel free to hit me up!" Kou winked at Souji, his carefree tone still not meeting his eyes; he kind of reminded him of Yosuke.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's all bow down and pray to Kou Ichijo-"

"I prefer donations." Daisuke proceded to actually facepalm, something Souji had read of but didn't think people actually did. "So, what's  _your_ name, transfer student?"

"Hey, don't give him that crap. He gets enough of it already." Daisuke objected. 

"From the assholes on  _your_ team, right? Don't worry about them, their losers and their team sucks mega balls-"

"So does yours!"

They laughed and grinned like they'd both complimented each other. Souji couldn't help but wonder if he and Yosuke would ever be able to talk like this with this much happiness- though then again, he could tell something had upset Kou... Given the way he couldn't even say her name, he'd probably been Chie's-

"I'm Souji Seta." He had to put on the happy, carefree jock mask. "I'm guessing you're on the basketball team?"

"Yup! We totally suck!" Kou and Daisuke high-fived for seemingly no fucking reason. "Did you play soccer a lot, Souji?"

"It's my life."

"That's great!" Daisuke piped up. "We've been needing someone like that for forever!"

"If you happen to like basketball, too, you should totallyyyyyyy join my team as well-"

"Souji's not a traitor!" Daisuke protested.

"Pffft, I know, I know."

 _You have become friends with Kou Ichijo and Daisuke Nagase._ Souji still didn't know whose voice was that-  _Thou art I... And I..._ The world went still as the voice droned on and on- Strength, huh. How fucking ironic. 

And he could feel that energy building inside of him and then the world was moving again and Daisuke was asking, "So wanna run a few laps, show us what you've got?"

"Of course!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Souji's entire body was screaming in pain by the time he got home; he'd played sports before and was physically active, but  _damn,_ they'd been going for so long Souji and Daisuke were  _both_ trying to make excuses to stop, but Kou had almost seemed like he thought if he ran long enough, he'd forget whatever was bothering him.

He sighed as he went upstairs, calling Yosuke and putting him on speaker while he further tortured his body with more crane folding. "Yo, partner. How'd it go?"

"Do you know Kou Ichijo?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"He's really... depressed and I'm trying to figure out why."

"Oh." His tone darkened. "He had feelings for Chie."

"Oh..."

Yosuke decided to lighten the mood. "So, did you make any new 'bonds?' "

"Yes. I guess I can work tomorrow-"

"No. I'm already working tomorrow- you should focus on powering up your Personas and I'll get us our supplies."

"I don't want you to work your ass off-"

"I already work my ass off anyway."

"But... you were going to get a motorcycle-"

"I seriously doubt that would make me happy anymore."

"Yosuke... I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. Hell, I should apologize to you for dragging you into this mess-  _I_ was the one that had a personal connection to it. None of it had anything to do with you and I-"

"But it did."

"It does  _now,_ but it didn't  _then._ I've gotta go- good night, partner!"

"Good night." Souji sighed as he listened to the static after Yosuke hung up. He  _had_ had a personal connection... Right from the start, he couldn't have left Yosuke alone to deal with trying to find out about Saki's death- Yosuke was important to him. For some reason, he'd been drawn to him since the first time he saw him- that was why he'd kept walking that first time he saw him crash his bike. It was  _freaky,_ to see a complete stranger and get this feeling like you'd known them forever... But anyway, he'd never tell Yosuke any of that.

Oddly enough, he'd felt that same pull from Chie and Yukiko- but it'd been  _much_ stronger with Yosuke.

...

Sighing, he picked up the blackest paper he had and focused on folding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Souji would have made lunch again, but there wasn't any food in the fridge. He barely talked to Yosuke the entire day, and the boy marched off to work after only a few words to Souji. Oh, well. Souji was halfway to practice before he remembered he didn't  _have_ practice today. Oops.

There were other clubs, weren't they...? Souji wandered the halls of the practice building,  stopping when he saw the drama club.

If there was one thing Souji was actually perfect at, it was acting. Pretending. Twisting himself into whatever others wanted... that was stuff he'd been doing for as long as he could remember.

These kids weren't distracted from club activities due to the recent deaths of fellow students; no, they weren't focusing because of high school crushes and general teenage laziness. Yumi Ozawa seemed to be the only person with any hopes (or talent) as far as acting went. She picked up rather quickly onto Souji's performing talents as well; by the end of the day, he'd formed the Sun social link.

The next few days were spent with Yosuke working and Souji alternating between practice and his job, until they'd finally saved up enough money to stock up on healing supplies and buy both of them some new armor; they didn't have enough leftover for new weapons, though, so Souji was still stuck with the golf club (something he wasn't too happy about, but more importantly...)

"It's fine." Souji assured a worried Yosuke. "We're just going to stick to the lower floors of the... castle."

Yosuke waited outside Daidara's until Souji had finished making some new Personas, these much stronger than the ones they'd had before, and then they (finally) went back in the TV.

"There you are!" Teddie waddled up to them the moment they'd entered. "I've been so  _beary_ worried about you! Wait- where's Chie-chan?"

They both winced. Teddie stared up at them innocently, cluelessly, until Yosuke finally confessed, "She committed suicide."

"Sue... iside?"

"She killed herself." Souji's voice was surprisingly soft. 

"What- no!" The bear's brow creased. "Wh, why would someone do that? Is she okay?"

"She's dead." Souji replied flatly. 

"Let's quit talking about this!" Yosuke was twirling his kunai in his hands, his gaze focused on their handles. "Can you take us to the castle?"

"O...Okay. But... the shadows are waaaaay stronger than last time, so be beary careful."

The kunai went still while Yosuke's voice went cold with new anxiety, "Why are they stronger?"

"Yuki-chan's shadow attracted them- remembear, right before you left? I don't think... The shadows that come directly from people that way are interested in killing anyone other than that person, but these ones will definitely try to do that to you guys."

"We'll be fine." Yosuke decided, glancing towards Souji; the gray haired teen couldn't see anything behind Yosuke's glasses.  "Let's go, partner."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The shadows  _were_ way stronger than last time, but their team was being a hell of a lot more cautious now. Yosuke listened and followed each of Souji's orders carefully, and Teddie put even more effort into navigating them; while each fight was a challenge, they never once slipped into real danger. They ended up grinding for hours, until their energy was so wiped out they couldn't summon their Personas if their lives depended on it.

"You guys did great! I can tell you're both a lot more strong now!" Teddie chirped as they went back to the entrance.

"Thank God..." Yosuke muttered.

Souji smiled at him. "You did such a good job."

Yosuke's face flushed at the acknowledgement;  he didn't get much of that in his life. "Th-Thanks, man. So did you."

"If only Chie-chan could have been here..."

After Teddie's comment, no one spoke again until they'd returned to Junes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That dumb bear..." Yosuke grumbled, sighing as he checked around to make sure no one had noticed two boys pop out of a TV.

Souji grunted in agreement, cracking his knuckles. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Don't think about that, okay? I'm proud of you. You did really good today."

"Awwww, thanks, but so did you, partner-" His eyes lit up further as an idea came to him. "It's not too late yet. Wanna stick around for a bit before we head home?"

"Sure." Souji kept his excitement out of his voice, but he was honestly past overjoyed to not have to go back home. He hated to be alone anymore, but even more than that, he hated not being around Yosuke; he was the only one that understood, after all.

Yosuke led him to the food court, coming back a minute later with some food; "Junes has this policy where if you put so many hours in per week, you get a free meal once a month," Yosuke explained as he set the food down.

"How many hours do you work a week?"

"Uh, I guess like about ni- I don't know, I really don't."

"That's-"

"Hanamura!" Yosuke winced as two brightly-dressed girls stormed over to them.

"Hello, Senpai." Yosuke had barely got the greeting out before they were bitching about having to work on days they'd agreed to work on, with Yosuke promising he'd do what he could to help.

He hadn't even sat down before a new bitch came. "Uh, let's go over there." Yosuke hastily mouthed, "Sorry, partner," over his shoulder before he got dragged away. 

Souji watched as person after person went to Yosuke to complain, literally lining up a short ditance away from the poor boy; it was nighttime and the food was ice cold by the time he finally came back. He frowned when he saw the food, saying, "You could have gone ahead and ate that, partner.. "

Souji shook his head. "That was bullshit."

Yosuke flinched. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you alone-"

"No, no! I'm not upset with you. I was talking about the way they treated you."

"Oh." Yosuke smiled mechanically. "It's fine. I'm used to it."

Souji opened his mouth to speak, but Yosuke just laughed nervously and stood, scooping up the food. "Well, I guess I should go throw this away! I'm sorry I wasted your time."

To Souji's own surpruse, he got up and followed him. "You didn't waste my time. I'm pissed that you have to work all the time and then have...  _that_ happen."

"No, honestly, it's okay. I don't care. It's nothing, not compared to..."

Souji pressed, "But doesn't it hurt?"

Yosuke's eyes went distant. "Well, I guess it  _did..._ but now it doesn't matter! I'm not just the Junes kid anymore. I'm more than that now. I can do something important now." Souji hated the way he said that, but soon enough Yosuke had told him he needed to go rest and advised Souji to do the same.

He could feel that he understood Yosuke more now. It should have made him happy that his Magician Personas would be stronger now, but all he could do was think about how, yet again, he couldn't help anyone he cared about. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for the honest game trailers ref. I love Kou and Daisuke and all the other background characters way too much I'm not looking forward to writing this aghh.
> 
>  
> 
> And with this, I am taking a break from this fanfic, won't be a long break but I need to update my P5 stuff first


	5. Any Hesitation Will Only Get You Killed

When Golden Week rolled around, Yosuke called him: "Hey, man. Sorry to bother you, but... you think Dojima would let me stay over there for a little bit? My parents have to go to some Junes meeting a few hours away from here and wanted me to stay but I just really don't like being here by myself." Underneath his casual tone and self-derisive laugh was a plea.

"I'll see what I can do." After quite a bit of begging on Souji's part, Dojima had agreed, and long story short, he, Yosuke, and Nanako were all sitting around the TV with three bowls of Junes-brand ice-cream; Dojima was, of course, at work.

"H-Hey..." Nanako suddenly piped up, clearly terrified to speak. "Can... Can I have some more please?"

"Of course." Souji immediately got up and took her bowl to the kitchen, scooping out an extremely large portion for her; she squealed in surprised delight upon seeing how much was in it. 

Yosuke chuckled, an unfamiliar smile on his face. "Awwww, look at that! You're like one of those 'Big Bro' characters!"

"Big... Bro?" Nanako repeated as if trying the words out to see what they sounded like. Souji playfully kicked Yosuke's leg in response to his comment when Nanako wasn't looking, though Yosuke only laughed in response. 

What the hell was even on TV...? It was some crime show, with a man and woman on some kind of stake-out, and for God knows what reason, everytime he went near her, her personality would change from a stone-cold professional cop to some flashy, flamboyant teenager, using dramatic hairflips, winks, and some rather disturbing hand gestures to communicate.

Nanako giggled, repeating whatever she'd just said while imitating the gesture; it honestly warmed Souji's heart, watching her act like this for once. She'd been so disappointed her father couldn't take any days off on Golden Week, but now she was more cheerful than Souji had ever seen her and all they were doing was just... freaking _talking_ to her. 

They both clapped at her performance, her whole face going pink as she laughed again, and soon Nanako was telling them about her favorite TV shows, which continued up until it was her bedtime. She took her empty bowl to the sink, then abruptly tackled in Souji in a hug. "G-Good night... Big Bro!" She darted off to her room before he could respond. 

Yosuke laughed, not from humor but overwhelming happiness. Souji had never thought he would hear that... "She's precious."

The gray-haired boy smiled softly. "Yeah... she is." He'd always kind of wanted a sibling, but he'd been glad he didn't have one because he'd known he'd somehow fuck everything up. Probably the same way he was currently fucking everything up...

Yosuke stretched, an alarming amount of popping noises filling the air as a result. "It's going to rain soon."

"I saw that."

 "I... I think we're a lot stronger now."

Souji nodded in agreement. "There's always a chance that no one will show up on the Midnight Channel at all."

"We can only pray." Yosuke cleaned up their bowls and called out from the kitchen, "I'm kind of tired."

"So am I." Souji turned the TV off, then led the way to his room. 

The moment they closed the door, Yosuke started chuckling conivingly. "Sooooo... where do you keep the goods?"

"Do you mean porn? I don't use magazines. I rent DVD's and send them back once I'm done, never buy them."

Yosuke blanched, not expecting such a ... apathetic...? Casual? Honest...? SOMETHING response, managing an awkward response of, "Oh. That's... cool."

Souji laughed softly, deciding to change the subject before Yosuke tried to find out what kind of crap he watched. "You can sleep on the futon. I'll take the couch-"

Yosuke rolled his eyes, plopping down on the couch. "Don't be ridiculous." He yawned, the sound strangely endearing. "G'night, Partner."

Endearing...?

Souji huffed, going to get him a blanket and pillow, but by the time he came back, Yosuke was already asleep. In most books, some character would see someone else sleeping and think of how peaceful and innocent they looked asleep; Yosuke looked like he was dying inside, his brow creased and his body curled up defensively. But that made sense, honestly. He acted happy-go-lucky, but in reality, he was likely on the brink of despair.

Souji carefully tucked him in, then gently lifted his head up to put the pillow beneath; oh god, Yosuke's hair was so soft-

Sighing, Souji turned off the light and went to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, as the rain poured down in the darkness outside his window: "Dude, did you see that?"

"I think that figure was Kanji Tatsumi."

"That guy in the biker gang?" Yosuke's voice was all static-y and panic-y. 

"Yes... Do you think that's who it was as well?"

"I can't tell for sure, but probably."

"I think we should go ahead and warn him." Souji suggested. "Even if it turns out to be someone else, it shouldn't hurt anything, right?"

"Oh! Right! Great idea, Partner!"

Souji's smile didn't show in his voice. "Tomorrow, then?"

"Tomorrow." Yosuke agreed before Souji hung up; he wasn't sure why, but he suddenly felt achingly...  _cold_.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yosuke sighed, shifting against the school gate. "Can't those two hurry up already? My back's freakin' killing me!" He grumbled.

"Shhh." Souji watched carefully; why did Kanji get so flustered when that blue-haired boy said he wanted to see him again?

Interesting...

The shorter boy finally left; "Let's go," Yosuke said before something else could happen, leading the way to Kanji, who was currently glancing around to see if anyone had been eavesdropping, and, the moment he saw them, he was screaming. "The- The hell're you two lookin' at?!?" He was closing the distance between them, his hands clenched into fists-

"Ah, shit!" Yosuke took off running, Souji close behind; they didn't stop until they were quite a ways from the school. "Fuck... You think he got a good look at us?"

"No idea." Souji sighed, plopping down on the sidewalk. Couldn't _anything_ be freaking easy for once...? "He said he's meeting that boy tomorrow, but I think we should go back now."

"He's not gonna listen right now." Yosuke objected, sitting beside him. "I don't think he's going to listen to us at all after that... Maybe we should disguise ourselves or something."

Souji chortled. "Like secret agents?"

"Pffft. No, I just mean... Wear something different. Cover your hair. Oh, and we'll wear the glasses! That should be enough for him not to recognize us, at least until we're done talking. We'll just... confront him tomorrow. He'll _have_ to have forgotten us by then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 "Did you find him?"

Yosuke nodded, slumping into his hiding place. "He's combing his hair in the bathroom.'' He reached into his bag, putting a different, unfamiliar jacket on, followed by the glasses and a Junes-brand beanie, putting his headphones in his bag carefully; Souji changed as he did, and when the brunette looked up, his mouth actually dropped open. "What the hell is that?"

Souji shrugged. "Dunno. I took it from Dojima's closet."

"Dude. First of all, stealing from a cop isn't the best idea. And y'know, the entire goal here is to look _unnoticeable_ , not like there's a frigging dead racoon on your head!"

Souji pouted. "Is it really that bad?"

"Yes, Partner. It really fucking is."

"There he comes." They both ducked down, eavesdropping as Kanji spoke to the other boy again, their conversation awkward and maybe just a bit...  _flirty...?_

"I suggest we take this somewhere else." The stranger abruptly said, shooting them a sideways glance that made them both curse under their breath.

Kanji was far too caught up in him to wonder why he'd suggest that; if anything, Souji could swear he saw him blush. "Oh, uh... s-sure!"

Yosuke and Souji waited until they were a bit ahead before they tailed them, both boys hiding anytime they thought they might turn, and given how paranoid both of them were about messing this up, this made it an excruciatingly slow process. Finally, they stopped and continued their discussion.

A few minutes trickled by. "Son of a bitch.'' Yosuke huffed under his breath. "They're taking  _forever..."_

"Calm down."

Rather than take his advise, Yosuke seemed to grow even angrier, digging his nails into the sidewalk beside the mailbox they were crouching behind. "This is _bullshit_! We don't have _time_ -"

"Oh, darlin'! We have all the time in the world." Souji drawled, dragging his hand down Yosuke's shoulder spastically.

Yosuke stared in shock; how the _fuck_ had he _perfectly_ quoted a line from that show they'd been watching with Nanako? "Dude. What the-"

"Shhh, shhh. Hush, baby, you'll ruin the investigation! Don't think about me, just focus on hiding. We have to... adjust our bodies to fit into spaces. Tight, _tight_ spaces." He proceded to pull of a pose that pushed out the breasts he didn't have.

Yosuke snickered, all his frustration temporarily forgotten. "You're ridiculous."

"Only around you, sweetie~!" He blew Yosuke a kiss with a flirty wink.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?"

The two jumped so hard the crashed into each other, landing on the sidewalk like two pieces of garbage. Yosuke sputtered like a fish out of water, "We- w-we were just-"

"You were makin' fun of me, weren't you? WEREN'T YOU?!?"

"No, no!" Yosuke threw his hands up in protest. "We came here to warn you, actually."

"Warn me?" A sudden understanding dawned in his eyes. "You think I'm gonna let you COME HERE AND FUCKING JUDGE ME-"

"Shut up!" Yosuke snapped, all three of them shocked at his sudden outburst. "It's about the crap going on in Inaba lately, not whatever the hell you think I'm talking about!" Kanji went still; Yosuke pressed, "Have you noticed anything strange recently?"

"Strange...?" Kanji's gaze went even harder. "ARE YOU SAYIN'  _I'M_ STRANGE?!? YOU _WERE_ MAKIN' FUN OF ME-"

Stupidly, Souji placed a hand gently on his shoulder. "Kanji. We're only here to help-"

The blond's terrifying arm reached out, swiped off his hat, and ripped it apart in one second. "YA SEE THIS?!? THIS IS GONNA BE YOUR SPINE WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU DIPSHITS!"

Yosuke yanked Souji out of the way, Kanji's fist barreling through the air where he'd been a moment ago. "Run!" Souji didn't have to be told twice, and the two quickly fled as fast as humanly possible. 

"Son of a  _bitch!"_ Yosuke cursed when they were safe again. "We... Goddammit, we are  _not_ going to fuck this up! We _have_ to warn him somehow!"

Souji's eyes went wide as an idea came to him. "Hey... Doesn't his family own that textile shop?"

Yosuke arched an eyebrow. "Yeah. Why?"

"Tomorrow, we ditch school and go to his parents. Maybe... with all the fear going around here lately, they might belive us enough to at least keep their guard up. Even if it's to just protect themselves and him from us."

Slowly, Yosuke nodded, his eyes indecipherable behind his glasses. "That... That might work. We'll do that."

That night, Kanji Tatsumi's "Bad, Bad Bathhouse" aired on the Midnight Channel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...In a world where everyone used flip phones that can't connect to Internet and people still rented porn DVD's. Though I guess some people do still do that, honestly kudos to people that have the balls for that. ^^
> 
> That "show" wasn't based on anything. Just needed to come up with something so Souji could low-key hit on Yosuke like this. X,3


End file.
